(The Death of) Third Spaces

I think it’s worth examining the death of the third space as a reflection of general social regression — an ouroboros of detachment and isolation, one end feeding another. Are we more lonely because third spaces are dying or are third spaces dying because we are more lonely? We’ve seen a decline in the number of reported friendships people have over the last few decades and this was certainly exacerbated by the pandemic and the doom-and-gloom political climate since Trump’s first term. Is it a coincidence that we saw the rise of the manosphere, incel groups, the alt-right pipeline culminating in young men shifting more right in the 2024 elections? And everywhere on social media people talk about ways of combating the radicalization of our youth but I think one piece that goes by under the radar and that’s the death of our third space.

Third spaces being places outside your home or work, traditionally churches, parks, community centers, libraries, local places of business, etc. There has been a huge shift in the commercialization and commodification of these spaces and that’s not to say that there’s never been a for-profit motive behind third spaces — coffee shops and bookstores and the like can’t stay open as third spaces if there are no customers — but their ancillary function was to provide a place for civic engagement whereas their modern counterparts are mostly commercial lots (although we do see the rise of some mixed use developments in small pockets of the country) dressed up with the veneer of being community focused. So let’s take coffee shops as an example. A lot of these used to be locally run businesses before they were chased by big box brands like Starbucks. And look what they devolved into — shitty, monotonous, sterile WeWorks where people post up all day to work. I made a post about the early 2000s aesthetics of Starbucks and the visual differences are pretty stark. There’s a warmth to the space that just invites you in and sit down to relax and buy a Norah Jones CD that modern Starbucks doesn’t have. And maybe this is just a reflection of the new age of hustle and bustle grind. The aura is just completely different.

I work near The Bowl in Ballantyne which is a near a corporate business park and nearly every day for lunch I walk down there to get a cup of coffee at an establishment called Fly Kid Fly. (It’s the only place that makes a cortado as smooth as I like it that doesn’t come out super bitter and at this point I don’t even have to give my name at the counter anymore.) Outside there’s this 100 foot by 50 foot patch of artificial grass that have lawn chairs where parents sit around with their baby strollers and toddlers can run around. But outside of that, there’s really not much else to loiter and congregate. There’s an Amphitheater across the street and disc golf course with some walking paths a block away but for the most part it’s a near featureless landscape of rolling hills and some tree coverage. There’s not really much in the way of benches or tables (probably because of the disc golf course I wager) and now in the height of summer, there’s barely any tree coverage. I’m sorry this is not a third space. The Bowl is in a fucking corporate business park right off the exit to a major interstate where Johnston Road can be anywhere from 4 to 10 lanes across next to other retail zones and only behind all of these commercial areas are there apartments and housing. That’s not even to mention things like limited availability of paid parking and other free public parking spaces. How are people let alone teenagers able to find their community when this is masquerading as a place to hang out. To be clear this is a place where the local finance bros go to get overpriced bagels and smoothies and pay for the worst dining experience I’ve ever had in my life like at ███████’█ (AND I WASN’T EVEN THE ONE FUCKING PAY FOR IT). These are retail stores cosplaying as third spaces.

This has just been the result of decades of zoning laws and the lack of mixed use developments and the lack of affordable housing and we have barely touched on the walkability issue in major cities and the lack of good public transportation. And what were the consequences? Suburbia is now an island, someplace we just happen to live, separate from our work and school and public spaces and we forced everyone to drive a car just to do anything. And at least in South Charlotte (where I live) parents are just dropping off their kids at the local Target and Best Buy and they’re just creating havoc for retail workers. How do we expect younger generations to develop socially if everywhere they go is a reminder of our late stage capitalist hellscape?